Depression. What does it feel like? What is it? I always describe it as a dark abyss….a sea of nothingness. Where you are aware of everything around you and nothing at all. Where you feel the earth pressing down on you, but you feel so empty. When you can’t differentiate up from down or left from right. It just happens…sets in and makes a home. But Why? Why does it find it’s way into our hearts and why do we give it a space to call home? I’ll tell you why, because it’s finds a crack….a hole…a chink in our armor and let’s itself in. We let our defenses down and in it comes. So what do we do? In the darkest of dark I would pray Ephesians 6:17 over and over again. I would imagine myself putting on my armor and getting ready for battle. It would try and cover myself in so much holy spirit, that hopefully nothing else would get in. The truth is…sometimes it does get in. Does this mean that we are not full enough of God and we have room left in our hearts? Absolutely not! Often in warfare the battle wages in waves of wins and losses. It doesn’t always have an epic finale when we want it to. Often, we are at war for a reason and sometimes the war is getting us ready for a revolution. The revolution of ourselves, our families and life yet to come. So why do we often wave the white flag and give up? I’ll tell you why. I have stood with my toes on the edge of insanity….wiggling….face looking over into the abyss and thinking that I had come to the end. I’ve been there! I have walked through the valley and I hate to tell you this….I’ve walked through it more then once.
In my darkest times I prayed for instant healing! To be one of those that God miraculously touches instantly. I wasn’t though and I’m still not. I still have a revolution going on inside of me and I know the battle isn’t over yet. I have a call to rally those around me to pick up their swords and fight the battle that wages in the depths of their souls. To unite our inequities and fight together for the peace of our souls. TO NOT hide within the shadows in fear and shame, but to stand proud and united in HIM. To not lower our heads in embarrassment, but to stand proud and declare that I am WONDERFULLY and BEAUTIFULLY MADE! So are you! You are not defected or broken…you are just a mosaic of beautifully shining broken glass. The TRUE artist knows what you are supposed to look like, but to the human eye you look broken, ugly, torn and bedraggled. HE however did not create you to look this way, HE created you for great and mighty things. To declare your battle cry and trample over the lies that enemy has fostered in your heart for TOO long! Don’t let him make a home in the shallows of the abyss because though you feel alone, he is waiting to take up partnership with you. He is waiting for you to bring down the castle drawbridge and lower your gates.
Often, our gates get lowered by life. What does that even mean? We get so caught up in the hustle and bustle that we lose sight of US and of HIM. That’s why in battle we often have to lose ourselves, in order to find ourselves. We have to be beaten and bedraggled…in order to be reborn and remade. Battle wasn’t meant to be easy, but it is what wins wars. So don’t stand behind the castle walls waiting for the battle to stop…it’s time to take up arms and fight. Take up your sword, put on your helmet, and hold up your shield. This battle does not determine who is going to win the war, but who will win the revolution for your soul. Don’t lose sight of your fellow comrades that are fighting along side of you, because everyone has a battle that they are waging. Stand side by side with them, because two swords are better then one. “If you want to run fast, run alone. If you want to run far, run together (African proverb).”
Who will you take up arms with? Who will you stop to pick up? Who will you save from the depths of Hell? Now as I am writing this, I know that some of you are in a time of pause or rest. You aren’t meant to gather the troops yet, because you are still working on your armor. You are crafting your sword and making it from the strongest metal. You are not ready for a revolution because your battle has not begun. You have not gathered your quiver of arrows for battle! BUT! For those of us who are ready…we MUST fight together! WE MUST trust in our fellow comrades and WE MUST not fight alone! When an animal hunts it singles out the weakest of the herd and tries to get it away from it’s protection. Let that not be you! Don’t single yourself out and run from your protection! Clasp together and form a bond that cannot be broken! “For two are better then one!”