My Favorite Color is Polka Dot

Today, I was reminded how important struggle is and why we must face it head on.  I was on a mountain bike “date day” with my husband and my body was tired from the week and when my body gets tired, my brain takes over.  It tells me things like….you can’t do this…you aren’t good enough…just quit….everyone is looking at you! I started to succumb to these thoughts and the ride just got harder.

As I rode along I started to curse in my head and second guessed every move that my body already knew how to make.  I started making mistakes, picked bad lines and became frustrated.  I kept looking down as I rode and as in life where you look, is where you go.  So if you look down, you go down and if you look ahead, you continue to go forward.  However, I kept looking down.  Cursing…hitting rocks and sliding.

I just wanted the ride to be over, I did not want to deal with the suck.  That’s right I said it…SUCK! Sometimes life sucks, just like a bad ride! As I swirled deeper into my pit of despair in my head, so did my ride.

At one point I heard God say, “run the race set out before YOU (Hebrews 12:1)!”  How many times I have heard him utter these words.  Why do we as humans put ourselves down? Why do we compare ourselves to everyone around us? Why don’t we give ourselves grace? Why don’t we realize that what we see is facade and everyone around us is running their own race.  I heard God say, “concentrate on your race”…….”your achievements”……”no matter how small.”  As I listened to these words, my body began to intrinsically takeover and my mind took a back seat.  I listened to God, I didn’t take my own path and I began to enjoy what I was doing.  So WHAT if I had to get off my bike and walk….so what if I didn’t hit every line the right way….so Fing WHAT?! That’s right I said…Fing because sometimes it’s not all butterflies and glitter in my head!

I kept thinking about all the times I would compare myself to others and how I was embarrassed to show my true self.  I didn’t think that my two selves could coexist and that people would accept me.  My whole life I have been a split personality between a girl who loves to get dirty, ride bikes and find frogs… to a girl who loves tulle, polka dots and a good glittery twirly dress.  It took me years to realize that both these girls can coexist in the same body and I say “girls” because I think it’s so important that we never lose our inner child.

My husband once  asked me what my favorite color was and I told him that I didn’t have one.  He said that’s not possible! Everyone has to have a favorite color! I told him that I liked polka dots, so polka dots and glitter were my favorite colors.  He told me polka dots were not a color and I said…WHY NOT?! Why can’t they be a color? Why do we let people tell us what things are and what they are not? Why do we let people tell us who we are and what we won’t or will become? Repeat after me! NO MORE! No more will I listen to the world’s ideals and stop my inner girl from twirling in her bright, sparkly and tulle filled dress…as she smiles and looks toward the sun (without shoes of course)!

As I ended my ride I continued to push myself and I  thought….we tell ourselves that life is supposed to be comfortable, but I believe that is a lie that the enemy wants us to believe, so we don’t reach our full potential.  For it’s in our uncomfortability that we grow.  The enemy is afraid of our strength and true power. We get so stuck in our well worn rut, that we can’t grow and become paralyzed.  Paralyzed to what we can become and paralyzed to what we can be.  Don’t get me wrong…getting out of the rut is Fing hard, but so worth it! It might be the greatest ride, that you will ever have…until the next adventure!

God is always acting like a loving father in our hardships.  Teaching us to persevere and trust in him.  He is teaching us discipline.  A loving father wants what is best for his children and often he needs to rebuke them.  For a stone does not stand a chance against the rough waters because it eventually will grow smooth.  We are being shaped by our heavenly father and often it is in our uncomfortability, where the biggest change is taking place.

During this past year I kept hearing God say that I needed to start embracing the miracles laid out before me! That it was time to start embracing my destiny.  He would never let me fall backward, but only forward.  Everything that is worth something is hard and sometimes you need to embrace the SUCK in order to get to the finish.

What rut are you currently in and how will you get out? Sometimes we can do it on our own (with God’s help) and sometimes we need someone to help us! Remember everyone is running their own race right next to you! Don’t look left, don’t look right, don’t look down, but straight ahead.

What SUCK do you need to embrace and how will you get to the finish line?

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